Friday, April 24, 2009

Heat waves.....

wow.. this few days had been sooooooooo hot... i seemed to be sweating every minute...

thank God it rained today..... finally....

went to Miss Chin's house today for class hour- where by her students, including me will perform one by one, a solo performance in front of everybody. Today's my second time, i skipped two class hours before this... wahaha...

my performance today was much better than the last... but i was still very nervous when it was my turn to perform.. my legs gone numb.. my hands were trembling that i can easily do a vibrato (in a wrong way lah) so the effect wasn't that good as the correct one... hahah.... my palms were sweaty that my bow nearly slipped off my fingers and i was still sweating away, despite the fan rotating on the ceiling right above my head......

Vienna woods by Johann Strauss..... that's what i presented... it doesn't sound like what i'd practised before.... haha.. due to stress and stage fright.. that's why i never agreed to register for violin exam... hahhaa

ok, as i'd mentioned before, i'm going to KMPP for matriculation courses....

Honestly, i haven't started packing... there's so much to bring that i'm lazy to packed them... haiz... plus the fact that i can't bear to leave my cosy home of 17++ years...... now, i'm going to an unfamiliar place... all alone... and it's up to me to make new friends and get myself used to the new lifestyle there.... here we go again.... if everybody can do it.. why can't i??? right??

it's been decided that me and mum will be going there on the 9th of May by bus.... none of the plans before this work.. hahhahah.... we planned to fly there by plane... but the airport is on the island... the college's on mainland... so, too far.... we planned to asked 5th aunt and her husband to drive us up.. but there wasn't any van available that weekend.... it's a wesak day that saturday.... we planned to take a choo choo train with first aunt... but that'll take a long time.... hahhaha... alas, mum found her companion... and both of them decided that we will take express bus..... and we'll be going on the 9th.. perhaps.... so that we can go 'kai kai' first before going for 'school'.. hahah

ok... that's the plan... tuesday, i'll be having my last violin lesson.... so sad... i've been learning for 2 and a half years already and am now making some progress..... haiz.... now i'm going to part with it..... boo hoo hoo.... and my piano too.... though i've stop learning it a few years ago.. but i still played it when i like to..... haha... after that, i'll have to Start Packing!!!!!!!!!!... this can't wait till the last minute.. right?? haha

that's it.. there's nothing more i can say.... taa taa... gb..

Monday, April 20, 2009

Not feeling any better.....

Well, today i ponteng-ed church....well it's not that i never ponteng....but it's because of this PIBG anugerah pelajar cemerlang thing... i bet i didn't let anyone know about this..hahhaa..i think so lah.. because i don't even feel like going in the first place....

That day, Thursday, Pn.Wendy gave me a 'surprise and unexpected call' ... she congratulated me once again for my spm results... and then told me about this anugerah pelajar cemerlang...under the PIBG banner at Dewan Jubli Intan..this Sunday..(which is today)....and then Pn.Suliyani will be there and blaa blaa blaa.... a letter was passed to me through my sister from pn.Gan....and was told to go there at 10.30am... i was so confused...and i don't even feel like going...

Ok, so today, i reached there at about 10.40am.... registered... went inside the dewan...listened to a talk meant for the AJKs of the schools' PIBG...after that Ishqi came...and then saw Ming Keat too.... In fact, the schools (SMKs) were supposed to choose 3 students who scored excellent results in SPM and 3 for PMR.... there's also prizes for those UPSR students too.... but it will be a hassle for me to elaborate much on this topic... even myself is confused about what's happening.... the event was soooooo...poorly organized that i wished that i'd not been present...

everyone of us were 'supposed' to go on stage to get a certificate and an envelope with RM50 inside.... but it ended up with Ishqi going up on stage.... and guess what he brought back to show us?? a certificate with a dotted line in the middle.. (where his name was supposed to be lah...but it was empty) hhaha.... and an envelope.... after that....those of us who hasn't got our certificate and $$ were supposed to go to a table at the side of the hall to retrieve the no-named certificate and the envelope of RM50...and much worse than this.... the people in charge were as confused and frustrated as we were....haiz.... can't they just give Ishqi 3 sets of certificates and envelopes when he went up ...since there wasn't any name on the certs....and envelopes....that would save the whole trouble.....!!! And because of this..... i'd wasted my whole morning.... i could have driven to church and come back already.....haiz...

since i'd to go to Danga City Mall, and mum needed to rush for work....i left the instance i got my cert and money...... wah sei..luckily it was RM50...not less than what we got from our school..at least i'm now RM50 richer...hahhaha...

Next destination: Danga City Mall.... for what??

BCSGJB- the breast cancer support group held a line dance session there.... and i'd been there to 'help' as a volunteer....konon... but before me and my sis started 'working' we went down for lunch first... ate mee rebus and had a cup of white coffee.... i'd started to feel the tiredness in me the moment i stepped into this place .... this always happens to me whenever i go to a shopping mall.... hahhaa....

So, after lunch...went to change..i was wearing baju kurung at first... haha...and i regretted wearing that shoe....it was the one i wore to the Taylors interview and it's still 'attacking' me.... sakitnya!!! i thought that i shouldn't be a problem..but i was incredbly wrong...haiz..bad day....

6th aunty gave me her camera and i was supposed to snap pictures.. that was easy... yay!! simple joc for me...because no matter how i snapped the scene's going to be the same.... people dancing lah...hahhaa.....so after taking a few shots..i went gallivanting the shopping mall..leaving my sis to deal with the video cam...wahahaha..

erm...actually this place used to be Best World..long time ago..i came here once that time..and remembered the A&W bear bear...hahhaha...awful incident...

there were shops on the first to fourth floor..i didn't dare explore the fifth....it was too scary... the place was so deserted.... there weren't many people...and in the shops except for the workers and the bosses.... just went to look see look see.... didn't buy anything except for another cup of ice nescafe....and after that i braced myself to explore that part of the mall that i haven't explored.... (before that i was scouting around the areas where the shops were open for bussiness)...OMG..it's eeeeeeeerie...imagining those shoplots....empty..the whole row.... i still wanted to see....maybe there's a shop open inside there....i continued to walk...bending to see into the next shoplot....and the others along the passage....all of them..those that i can see from where i was standing..were dark...no lights were turned on.. there's something looked like an air-conditioner (ceiling de)....and some of them has long woods..metal pieces on the floor.. looks like they were in the midst of some renovation....and no one was there... the air con above me blowing.....plus the ice nescafe in my hand....but i still wanted to see further...so brave...hahha....then......i saw... nothing...hhaha....the whole place was quiet....except for my footsteps....finally..overcome by fear....i walked as fast as i could..tried not to run....trotted away...i'd say...leaving the row of would-be shops....hahhaha....phew..my hands were cold...and i never dare go gallivanting through the same area on the other floors....

my legs were pain and achy due to that 'favourite' shoe of mine... hhaaha....i could walk no further...went to the place where i had my lunch and sat down.... after that received a call from 5th aunty asking me to accompany my sis on the second floor...she was still taking video....of the event....and i did my job by just staying there..hahha simple as that..wahahha....i;d actually finished my duty as the camera's batteries were worn out.... i went to bought some low quality ones and it didn't work for the camera.....haiz...my fault.....

so....here's my encounters for today....i guess i'm going to have nightmares of shopping centres....escalators...maybe lifts..and empty shoplots again tonight... dark dark......and imagine....a big, wide, shopping centre...with not so many people.....and the sounds of the worn out escalators....creak creak....

another thing....went for dinner, 5 of us.... after 2 failed attempts to find a place for dinner, finally, and luckily, we found a table available at Tmn. Pelangi's Agape....hahha....

ok...that's it..i don't want to go and rewind back those scary encounters i had today.... this is enough..hahhaha

gb.....take care

Friday, April 17, 2009

my future...

Greeeeeeetings!!!! hahaa.... i've no idea why am i so high lately...

actually, the results for the matriculation program should be out today.... and it turned out that i was offered a place in Kolej Matrikulasi Pulau Pinang...yay! or boo!...i got a shocked when i saw the outcome....i always thought that the non-bumis will not have much chance to get this matrics thing...so after keying in my ic number abd pressed 'Enter' i covered both eyes with my hands in front of the computer screen....i don't want to know the results!!!....but i still had to put my hands down right? so, i put them down...and saw the word tahniah.....and blaa blaa blaa..

Honestly, for the past week i was fretting whether i'd get this matrics or not....i'd that unexplainable feeling of fear in my heart....i'm scared that i'd get this offer... and it turned out that i did.... i should be happy right...???

but no... the moment i put down my hands, i jumped right up from my chair....the chair squeaked...hahhaha....another shocking thing-i'm supposed to register on the 11th of May....haiz..so soon... however, i felt that this is a decision and a sign that God had shown me.... this is the path He wanted me to take....

Family reactions:

Broke this news to my parents....they were happy and excited.... and starting to make plans to take leave....hahhaha....

Mum called her second sis to ask more about this matriculation program.... she's been hoping that i'd get matrics....but then again...no more Maria -that's me, ahem to help her with the house chores....wash clothes, hang clothes, fold clothes, sweep floor, mop floor....e.t.c.

my sister was like reluctant to let me go P.Pinang....nobody's going to help her boil water in the morning when mum's not around....nobody's going to help her with her homework....pity her also...

Daddy was happy also.... started talking about he can't drive to P.Pinang....and said that we will fly by Air Asia instead.... but he's going to have problems with his leave....he can't take leave on Sunday, you see...

My aunties were happy too....because like me, they didn't expect me to get matrics too.... and surprisingly they allowed me to go....

Now, it's time for me to sort out ' what's wrong with me'....

Initially i don't felt like going....why?
1. too far
2. had to stay in hostel
3. can i come home during holidays?
4. i'm going to leave home soon
5. i've just got my P lisence and i haven't had enough fun driving yet, after earning it the hard way, failed 2 times....haha
6. have to muster my courage and determination to study again--my brains were having a long long break...they might need some time to warm up again...
7. i can't go form 6....just wanted to wear that uniform to complete my uniform collection...hahha
8. am going to a place where i'm bounded by rules again....
9. there's going to be some short term holiday only--the longest being 2 weeks...not 2 months ok?
10. they didn't state clearly what they want us to do after checking online.... how and what do we need to bring for the registration?? should there be a letter?? or should we call the hotline??
11. i'm going to miss everyone and everything here:
-my family
-my dogs, ecspecially those two puppies: bongkang(means stupid in hainamnese) and kanga (means trying to be clever in hainamnese also)
- my favourite food
-my room
-my snuggles.......and many many more...

After that, that is only after my mum telling me more about this program, i made up my mind to go, why?

-it's good (explain lah)
-got pocket money
-guarantee masuk university
-affordable--just pay RM220
-nobody objected to me going for matrics--that's the main reason i agreed to go...hahha

Conclusion: I'm going to KM Pulau Pinang.....yay!!

Today's the first time i drove mum's car...i got my P lisence yesterday...

it was fun and exciting for me..and it was like a horror ride for my mum...wahahhaha... she was scared that i would drive the car into a drain....and this car's an automated one..unlike the one i'm used to drive-the manual one...hahha

hmm..i drove from my house to my aunt's house...arrived safely..
next, drove from my aunt's house to my house....arrived safely...got honed by a taxi...
next, drove my sis to pn. liew's house for tuition..arrived safely..
next, from pn. liew's house to Leisure mall....reached the car park....swapped seats with mum
next, again from aunt's house to my house....arrived safely....that's it...hahhaha

can't blame me....i going to leave this place already...better let me drive till puas puas before i forgot how to drive after leaving this place...hahhaha

today's post's kinda long....haha..

oklah..i shall stop here...

GB....h.a. (happy always)

Monday, April 13, 2009

At last...

Everybody.....i FINALLY passed my driving test today!!! Hallelujah!!.....

wah, this really gave a sense of relieve....as well as satisfaction....wahahha...after 2 failed attempts, i finally made it.....woohoohoo!!!

self reflecting----

everytime when my friends didn't do well in their exams, i'd always encourage them and tell them to keep on trying, do not give up...next time will be better...i didn't think that applying the same thing to myself was that difficult.....there were many times i thought of giving up just like that...what i mean was just forget about the driving test...then, i'd think of those things i'd say to my friends...i remembered telling them to keep trying...don't give up...maybe your are not talented in this particular thing, but maybe you'll do well in other things....i tried teling myself these...but sometimes...it just won't work..Luckily it was my driving teacher who made the driving test booking for me, otherwise i don't know how long i'm going to drag this test....in a way, avoiding it...

Reflecting back, i used to do well in most of the things i do (obviously not all lah)....all by God's grace i'd say...and this repeated failure in my driving test really hit me hard.....my other friends just took the test once and they passed...but i had to take a third time....i felt so small.... i felt what 'tiger' used to feel...she used to tell me that she felt herself not as excellent as the others (in fact she isn't....and i have no idea what made her think that way)...and i remembered cracking my brains to find a way to console and encourage her.....haha..now, this same thing is happening to me....i was having the feeling of lack of courage to meet the rest of them...haha..

But now...i'm just elated and happy!!! After 4 months of struggling...now, i'm free!!! yay!!!

So, those talks of don't give up are not nonsense after all....hahhahaha...at least i think so...sometimes we should really learn things the hard way....hahha..at least i'm more confident in driving now...haha....

Thanks to my friends for their encouragements and supports and tips too....hahha...and also thanks to my driving teacher..i know how frequently i made many silly and annoying mistakes...wahaha...and also thanks to all 3 jpj testers for their patience..haha.....

Words can't describe my feelings now.....hahaha...

Right now, another burden off my shoulders....haha..so, i'm going to continue rotting at home...wahaha....Plans to further study had to wait till the JPA scholarship results come out on the 3rd week of May....haha...But what i'm sure of now is that....i want to be a Doctor....hahhahah...at least my mind isn't fluctuating now...it is fixed....hahhaha

....gbu....smile!!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Good Friday!!

Yo!! It's been a long time since i last updated my blog...hahhaa...actually there's nothing much to update about....that's why i just left it the way it is....wahaha
Ok...yesterday was Good Friday...what'd i done??


Woke up very early, 8 am to go for driving lesson...wahaha...hope that i will be able to pass this test...if i said if...i were to fail this test again, i guess i should just live in KL...because the public tranport there is more convenient than those found n JB...hahhaa..those MRT, LRT, monorail..and blaa blaa blaa....hahhahaha..but again..that's is IF i fail again...hahaa...


After driving for 2 hours, i went home...with more confidence?? Maybe not...hahhaa....but i'll try....Try Try Try....wahaha -(thinking that i might be nuts)


Something really interesting happened in the evening....guess what???...i'm just as clumsy as an elephant...and this caused me to get into trouble most of the time... I took out a mango from the fridge to cut..for myself....at the same time, i was rushing too watch a drama series....haha..so i tried to be fast...slice slice slice...and i reached the seed...i was so frustrated that i couldn't go on any deeper, so i exerted more force...forgeting that my little finger was in the way....and whooosh...the knife cut through my FINGER!!!!! at first, i saw no blood...so i decided to continue slicing the mango....but a few seconds later i found blood ooooozing out from the wound....WAHHH...it was then i realise that the cut was realllll painful.....without second thought, i turned on the tap which was right beside me at that time....and wash the wound under running water....sakitnya!!!!!!


After that i ran out of the kitchen....towards the box of tissue on the table....while i shouted at my mum and sis : "everybody, i have good news and bad news. The good news, my mango is orange in colour..(which i thought that it was sweet)...and the bad news...I CUT MY FINGER!!!!!!!"...hahhaha....with a piece of tissue on the cut....i jumped and hoped round the whole living room in pain....yelling and shouting at the same time....hahahaha...the neighbours would have thought that i've gone crazy....wow...there was quite an amount of blood....2 pieces of tissue...luckily, it stopped bleeding after a little while....i felt relieved....the wound seemed quite deeped and i was worried about kiliot formation....on my finger??? no way....hahhaha


Pasted a strile strip on the wound, hoping that it would seal up nicely....don't form a scar please...and then plastered it with a strip of opsite...hahahha....




....there my finger with plaster..hahhahahaha


and then watch tv....in a way to distract myself....watch the Life No Take 2 drama....my third time....it's quite nice, touching....it's an easter drama by the singapore actor and actresses....they came to our church for a 3 days performance starting yesterday....
so, there it is...my first post for april.....Happpy Easter!!!!